It Essentially Comes Down to Choices…

IMG_6414An exceptionally liberating and empowering notion to digest upon your life’s journey is that essentially, our happiness, fulfillment, and personal power are all dictated by our independent and intrinsic choices. While the obvious truth to this may be that yes, we choose where to live, what to eat for dinner, what to wear each day, etc…the true essence behind this goes much deeper. Social constructs (that are instilled in us as soon as our cognitive ability develops very early in life) teach us that we do not have the power to choose. That we must follow the leader and those around us, adhering to a standard and set of regulations that will inherently “keep us in line” or allow others to respect and support us. However, there is a much more expanded way of looking at this that will open your eyes to the true power that you hold over your own life, and your innate ability to liberate yourself from the shackles that have been put on you by the macro outside societal world.

You have the power to choose. And this goes for most all facets of your life and your spiritual/emotional/intellectual inner landscape. You have the power to choose what to do and why, how to feel and why, how to manage your life and why. You have the power and right to choose when and how to let go of people, emotions, and thought processes that hold you back from actualizing your True Self and reaching a true state of peace and personal fulfillment. You have the power and the right to choose who you want to have in your life and why, your life’s direction, etc. etc. As you can see the list of elements for which you have the power to choose is essentially endless!

I will go into several examples in order to illuminate this paramount notion further, while keeping in mind that behind each of these choices is of course your inherent desire to remain true to yourself, support and nurture your own comprehensive wellness, create the best life possible for yourself, support and nurture those whom you love, and adhere to your own, idiosyncratic inner voice. By pointing this aforementioned statement out, I aim to highlight the fact that I do not mean that you are welcome to make choices such as wanting to be rich so you decide to rob a bank, or you want to seek revenge so you choose to hurt someone…I mean realizing and actualizing the inherent truth that you have the power to make choices that enlighten and fulfill you as an individual (that may be outside of what you have been taught or what you have observed throughout our society at large), bringing you further and closer to your True Self (Unleash Your TRUE SELF!) and all of your magnificent, unique beauty.

As long as your choices do not bring harm to others or yourself: they are all entirely up to you – you have free reign!

We are all unique for a reason, to teach each other about diversity, and to celebrate and enjoy our own personal identities as a true contribution to the overall whole. Diversity is what makes the world go round – we each bring something different to the table which contributes to the overall whole. We must recognize our own uniqueness and subsequently celebrate it, embrace it, and exercise it in full and joyful confidence. Realizing this truth is one thing, yet acting on it is another. Walking the walk involves a great deal of personal courage, dedication, and conscious awareness, however any challenge that arises as a result of your shift toward making your own choices is a drop in the bucket compared to the pristine amount of release and liberation that is experienced upon your acting on these realizations. While these concepts are indeed heretical, they are synonymously worthy of some consideration.

You have the power and the right to develop your own constructs of what fulfill you the most, and this does not have to adhere to the notions that have been instilled in us that we have become subconsciously conditioned to. For example, we are taught in this society that you must go to high school, decide what you wish to do with your life career-wise at the age of 18, go to college and major in this field, graduate at age 22, get a job in this field, begin working, and shortly after, get married and have children, all before the age of 30, and somewhere in the mix buy a home and set up a 401K. After having accomplished all of these things, you are then viewed as being “on the right path” and have built your life in a respectable way. This is the path that is considered most reverent and “right”. While it is perfectly acceptable and wonderful for one to choose to follow this path (if they choose that this fulfills them), there are far more options to lead one’s life than this one! Furthermore, and almost most importantly, if one does not choose to follow this path, they are seen and treated as a “black sheep” or with less regard than someone whom has. To me, this is highly unfortunate and truly must change, as everyone’s individual choices and development of differing/varied paths should be welcomed and celebrated. As I’ve stated, there are far more avenues to take than this one, as we all have the personal choice as to whether or not we wish to adhere to this kind of life’s path. Choosing otherwise, and embarking on a path that is not status quo is equally as reverent and acceptable. Choosing to break free from this mold does far more for our society at large than succumbing to stifling life guidelines that may not line up with what you truly feel is right for you as an individual. For this is how true, lasting societal change is accomplished: one person at a time, choosing to pave their own way, fearlessly and unapologetically.

One may choose to spend 6 years in college as an undergraduate (this is assuming they have chosen that college is even something they desire for themselves)…or one may take many many years to truly figure out that which they wish to do career-wise (as it often takes a bit of life experience and self-discovery to conceptualize this paramount decision overall and develop our true passions and gifts)…or one may choose that having children just isn’t for them…or one may choose that marriage isn’t something for them (this may be that they never get married, or figure out after having gotten married that it isn’t an institution they wish to be a part of)…or one may choose that “settling down” with one person for the entirety of their life isn’t something that would most fulfill them…or one may choose that they don’t wish to buy a home, they’d rather move around the country or the world throughout their life not having chosen a permanent residence…or one may choose that there isn’t just one thing they want to do career-wise, they’d rather do a variety of things and have their hands in several different pots of which fulfill a variety of different inner strengths and talents…or one may choose that striving toward monetary wealth isn’t a large priority of theirs…or one may choose that being in a romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex doesn’t adhere to their true inner identity (LGBTQ individuals, for example)…or one may choose that living in a yurt on the coast of South America with their dog is a set-up they’d most prefer (:), this is a seemingly comical vision, however equally as acceptable as anything else!), I think you see where I’m going here.

Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with following the initial life path that I mentioned, however…

 You did not originally derive this path as the only way to “lead a successful life” so you don’t have to follow it.

This is my point.

These templates for “success” are A way, none of them are THE way! YOU choose YOUR way to suit what YOU define as acceptable, successful, and fulfilling. 

Moreover, as is referenced in several other posts throughout my blog, you may choose to view illness or adversity of any kind as a detriment to your life, or you may choose to look at it as an opportunity for growth, learning, and development on many levels…striving to see why this struggle manifested to begin with, what lessens will come of it, and then go from there.

Furthermore, and this is equally as salient, you have the power and the right to choose who is in your life and why. As you learn and solidify that which is most important to you as an individual (your values), who your True Self is, and those attributes of which IMG_9285you find most fulfilling and loving in other people, you will develop a more clear idea of whom most lines up with these elements and hence whom you wish to be around. This changes over time, and those whom you may have been in relationships with before may not be conducive to who you are now, and that is OK, it is a part of personal growth and evolution. Many many people will remain in relationships (whether they be romantic relationships, friendships, professional relationships, etc.) for great lengths of time, unhappily, “for the sake of the relationship”, that may have been long-standing. This is a subconscious conditioning that has been instilled in us. Yes, we can and should actively work on our relationships and nurture them to the best of our ability, with empathy, compassion, and respect – allowing our relationships to serve as mutual support systems, abounding sources of love, and the generation of companionship, personal development, and active insight and learning. However, it is exceptionally important to remain aware of what is ultimately is best for you, at that time in your life. Some relationships will be long-standing or for life, some will be for a couple years, and some will be for a couple months. Each of these is equally valuable to your journey, as each and every person that comes into your life is there to teach you something. Everyone is equally beautiful and unique in their own way. All of these aspects considered, you have the right and the power to choose, period. It is your life to live, and you may share this exquisite journey with whom you wish, for your own distinctive reasons.

Furthermore, and this can be a difficult pill to swallow, you have the power to choose how to feel, when and why. Very often we are “made to feel” a certain way, whether it be guilty, happy, sad, regretful, worrisome, shameful, fearful, etc. We are conditioned to believe that in certain situations, with certain people, or in response to certain events or words, we are supposed to feel a certain way. This too is problematic. You are a capable, strong, autonomous being whom does not have to feel any certain way unless you choose to. What makes some sad may not you…or what makes some happy may not make you happy. If you choose to change your life to a more conducive picture that better suits who you truly are in your core, some may wish for you to feel guilty or shameful about this (which is derived from their own personal perspective and imbalance which has nothing to do with you)…this does not allow you to truly enjoy your liberating transformations if you allow this outside pressure and projection to actually sculpt your own personal feelings and inner landscape.

Any behavior or expression that could be considered crass, rude, angry, dishonest, upsetting, abusive, or mean is a projection of the aggressor’s own personal imbalances, harbored past pain, and ongoing inner battle. This has nothing to do with you and never has. This behavior and expression need not have any impact on you AT ALL – meaning you do not have to feel sad, upset, insecure, confused, dark, angry, or poorly about yourself simply because someone else attempted to project darkness upon you. Remember this, even if someone is inserting your name into the equation and making it seem as though all of this negativity is your doing. Anyone that is connected to their True Self and is intrinsically happy and balanced will choose to communicate tactfully, regardless of the circumstances. Again, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE, and remember…

The way people choose to treat others is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.

Upon initially learning these perspectives and tools, it can be tough to navigate our own disillusioned attachments and harbored past pain which may make it harder to develop the personal awareness that is necessary to actually LIVE the truths of choice and emotional freedom. Steps Toward Dismantling and Releasing Pain from the Past outlines a very helpful process to achieve this freedom and release!

Outside pressures can also often be overwhelming, overbearing, and hard to work around. However, we must in order to truly realize that we have the power to choose how we feel, why we feel that way, when, and in what regard.

 You may have been made to feel as though you aren’t good enough, or deserving of the best…but you are, and always have been. You may have been made to feel as though you don’t have the place or the right to speak your truth, but you do, and always have had this right. There is no one in this world that is more important or deserving of more than you are. 

I will close with the equally meaningful notion that we have a choice as to the attitude we wish to embody toward any given circumstance, person, place, or thing that arises in our life’s journey. This is huge, as it directly effects your inner landscape and is the deciding factor as to whether you will see these things as detriments to your path, or opportunities for growth, fulfillment, and learning. There is a quote that sums this up quite nicely:

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our Attitudes!” 

Remember, who you are and what is most important to you can and will change over time, it is key to remain cognizant of this and develop and construct your life accordingly. Trust in yourself, and the process of your personal development and sculpting of your own life’s path. Be proud of your choices, for they are yours to make, and this is your path to sculpt as you see fit, adhering to your inner truth, that which most fulfills you as an individual, and that which is most conducive to allowing you to freely celebrate the absolute brilliance and beauty that you alone bring to this world! 


Copyright © 2015-2016 Megan Westbrook – Flow Surge Healing

2 thoughts on “It Essentially Comes Down to Choices…

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