This topic very much ties into the post below regarding gratitude as the primary lens by which to view yourself, your world/life’s circumstances, and the path that has led you to The Now. In this respect, it is exceptionally salient to truly feel and express gratitude toward every step of your life that has led you to this present moment – in the sense that these steps (whether you realize it or not) have played an equally integral part in sculpting who you are today, in all of your multifaceted beauty. We all have a past and a story…however smooth sailing, colorful, bumpy, or checkered it may be. We all have elements of this past that we may consider as “good” parts and we also all have those elements that we may consider as “bad” parts. The point in my discussion here is to dissolve this aggregation, and unite all of these components (people, places, circumstances, patterns and behaviors, etc.) into one – recognizing, remaining grateful for, and intrinsically storing the inevitable and helpful lessons for which they have instilled, and then releasing our attachment them, which in turn liberates you from any subconscious patterning that may be hindering your own personal growth and fulfillment in The Now. As we feel gratitude for all of our path, and every step of the way, instead of categorizing everything into a “good” or “bad” category, we are then able to see that everything in our lives serves a larger purpose and that everything is a gift – always has been and always will be.
Basically, as I have gathered, this life is one big school. Every person, place, circumstance, experience, thought, and behavior is there to teach us something, however big or small. We are all students in this school, working independently, as well as together, in recognizing and absorbing these lessons in order to move forward in a more cognizant, well-rounded manner, henceforth empowering us to live this life in the way it is meant to be lived – in true happiness and fulfillment. Sometimes we miss an assignment, or forget to do our homework, but that is ok! It is all part of the journey.
One of the first steps in letting go is developing the courage to identify and face those elements in your past for which you would rather forget. People that may have hurt you, situations when you may have behaved inappropriately, decisions that weren’t necessary the best…anything that you feel didn’t line up with your best and True Self (Unleash Your TRUE SELF!). While this task isn’t the most enjoyable experience in your journey, it is only a fleeting moment and is profoundly important in the process of freeing yourself from the past that can and does hold you back from realizing and living your true potential. We must identify and face these aspects, without fear or personal judgement, and feel those feelings of hurt, anger, regret, and sadness in order to dismantle the power that they have over us and ultimately free them from our inner landscapes.
Once these elements have been identified, an effective means to move through them is to develop a perspective known as the objective observer. This perspective is exactly as it sounds: to take your own predisposed perspectives and attachments out of the equation and view the circumstance (for which you are trying to move through and release) solely through an objective lens. This will in turn free the space from any counterproductive judgement and allow you to assess the past effectively, clearly viewing the circumstance for what it was, in order to gather the inherent lesson, purpose, and gift. This doesn’t mean that we escape personal accountability throughout this practice, we are simply removing the attachments and feelings from the circumstance that can cloud our vision and comprehension of the facts of the matter. Think of it like viewing a movie of your own life, but someone else is playing your character. It takes some work, and some time to acquire this perspective, yet once you do, the underlying lessons and purpose of the circumstance will illuminate beautifully, and you will be able to attribute and embody this perspective in all future challenges as well. Once you live and see your world through this perspective, the heaviness and often intense burden of seemingly negative life circumstances will lift and you can be an active participant in learning the lesson that was brought about for you, and move on quickly and in a light-hearted manner.
This brings me to another exceptionally important aspect when performing this inner work. Think of someone in your life that you admire and love, unconditionally. Someone that you hold a warm place in your heart for, that you are extremely compassionate toward, greatly respect, and that fills you with a deep sense of appreciation. Now replace this person with yourself – feeling these feelings of admiration, compassion, warmth, respect, and unconditional love toward yourself. Hold these feelings strong, and keep them in the forefront as you confront the past and work through letting it go. This is an imperative and very helpful tool in this process in order to forgive oneself, just as we forgive others as well. It is often thought that the most important component in “moving on” is to forgive others for any wrong-doing or judgement they have passed on us. It is true that you must forgive others, for sure, yet most importantly, you must forgive yourself. You must play the role as your own best advocate (as opposed to your own worst enemy), releasing the judgment that you have subconsciously put on yourself as a result of any presumed misstep.
Sure, you’ve made mistakes, as have I, and every person walking the face of this earth. You may have behaved poorly, not lived up to your Full Potential in some instances, been less than considerate to another, or anything of the like. However, these steps in your past make you human, and are all there to teach you larger lessons. Holding on to them disallows these lessons to come forth and hence be successfully digested and implemented into your present and future. As with all tokens of the journey for which I speak of: ALWAYS, AND I MEAN ALWAYS, HAVE FULL AND UNWAVERING COMPASSION FOR YOURSELF and realize that you are learning as you go, we all are. You aren’t going to behave perfectly in every circumstance, but you can surely implement lessons born from past “mistakes” to your Now, and fly free of the limiting attachments and burden that comes with holding on to them!
This will once again free the space for true and lasting release and growth, as you are freed from the shackles that you have tied to yourself as a result of your previous experiences. This will shatter your personal doubt, and inherently illuminate your own, all-encompassing self-worth and self-love which will undeniably liberate you to experience true and lasting happiness. We weren’t born already having absorbed our many life’s lessons, that is why were are here…to have experiences that teach them to us. Each experience is a part of what makes up your perfect life’s path and each is equally valuable in contributing to your growth and evolution.
As you work through these steps of facing your past with courage, viewing each element with the objective observer perspective, forgiving yourself and others, and feeling and expressing deep, unconditional self-love and compassion, you will in turn free yourself from any and all detrimental and needless attachment to the past, which ultimately sculpt our inherent subconscious core beliefs and your attraction mechanism (the energy we are emitting that determines the nature of what we will attract into our world – our energetic frequency).
This will open the space for you to welcome and manifest NEW energies, perspectives, people, and circumstances that will enlighten and strengthen your life, liberating you from the needless internal suffering and fear-based living that your old attachments kept you tied to. By doing this, you are breaking the cycle and shifting your subconscious patterning. For, it isn’t until we truly identify and release these attachments and detrimental patterns that true and indelible change can occur. People, circumstances, and “old” perspectives will continue to arise over and over again until the lesson is solidified within us, and is actively demonstrated through our actions and shifts in our inherent attitudes and beliefs.
This notion can easily be seen in the context of relationships, which you may have experienced yourself or witnessed in someone else. For example, someone consciously feels as though they want a true and lasting, committed romantic relationship with someone, yet because they have been hurt before (and often as a result of early life traumas, hurtful experiences, and/or learned behaviors and beliefs), subconsciously feel and develop the false/limiting core belief that “men/women will hurt me”. They try their best to “forget” their past lovers and partners because the pain of being hurt by them was too much to bear and made them feel badly. As they “move forward” and continue dating various other people, the same circumstance continues to arise…they get hurt again and again, and the person with whom they are dating is basically the same kind of person, with a different name – this is the demonstration of their attraction mechanism, their frequency. It isn’t until this person stops and takes the time to look within themselves objectively and with compassion, identifying the root – the origin of this false and limiting subconscious core belief and taking accountability for their own part in the misguidance of the relationship, partakes in the 5 Steps To Dismantle and Release Pain from the Past, lets this energy and false belief go and subsequently develops a new and freeing subconscious belief that this cycle will be broken. The new belief being: “men/women are here to teach me, and as I love and respect myself, so too will those with whom I open my heart to, as I deserve to be treated with respect and love always”.
One of the most beautiful parts of waking up, unveiling your True Self, and henceforth living your self-love is living with emotional freedom. You wake up and realize that everyone is simply always projecting their own inner environment and relationship with themselves outwardly and that nothing is ever personal. You realize that your own energy field and state-of-being are all entirely up to you and need not be dependent on any outside anything. You realize that the most important relationship of all is the one that you have with yourself, and cultivating this relationship takes precedence. You realize that your own inherent power is more incredible than you ever thought possible and that the light that shines within you will always lead your way.
We must also devote ample effort to the introspective work that is necessary to trace back to when and where these subconscious beliefs were developed, hence giving us the opportunity to identify them, reformulate them, and set ourselves free of their programming. It is then that one will begin attracting noble people whom treat them with reverence, tact, and love, whether these be romantic relationships or any other kind of relationship. Their past no longer dictates their present and future and they are free from those previously detrimental thought processes and patterns.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will control your life and you will call it fate.” –Carl Jung
The beauty of this is that our attraction mechanism always reflects what our inherent core beliefs are: no matter what they are. So…this can go both ways. It can cause unneeded pain and suffering by continuing a hurtful pattern that is rooted in an old (most often from childhood) past occurrence, or it can work to manifest and create a spectacular, PRESENT view of what you truly deserve and wish for yourself – your True Self. By reformulating that new belief, in the example above this would be – “men/women are here to teach me, and as I love and respect myself, so too will those with whom I open my heart to, as I deserve to be treated with respect and love always” – you are then shifting your attraction mechanism to bring all that fits this picture into your world.
One’s attraction mechanism represents the inherent notion that our life and its details will always reflect our deeply held core beliefs: no matter where they were originally developed to begin with, and no matter what the core belief is.
I find it necessary to state here that by no means am I advocating that we cease taking accountability for our actions, or escape any personal responsibility that we have regarding those “negative” aspects of our past. It is clearly very important for each of us to recognize and take accountability for our actions, missteps, and any hurt that we may have brought upon another. In this context, I am exemplifying that it is equally important to release any attachments to these missteps that we develop, as they will continue to put a burden on ourselves and our personal growth when harbored within us.
This new way of life and transformation of perspective clearly is not adopted overnight, as we are always learning and growing throughout our entire life. Yet as you gradually begin to shift these inherent paradigms that you live and see the world through, you will free yourself from needless suffering and open yourself to a whole new realm of possibility, personal fulfillment, abounding love, and excitement for The Now and the path ahead!
Be proud of who you were, who you are, and who you will be, and for every person, place, circumstance, and experience that brought you here! The evolution of your unique and magnificent soul has depended on each and every moment of your journey up to now – so feel love and gratitude for it all. And remember, it is never too late to change your patterning and belief system in order to change your life for the better!
Here are a couple quotes that truly resonate with me regarding these notions :):
“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds” Mr. Bob Marley
“Kill the doubt that strangles my self-worth” The Avett Brothers
As linked above, 5 Steps To Dismantle and Release Pain from the Past is an additional article that covers a lot of these huge steps that liberate one from any limiting attachment to the past as to bestow total freedom in the present and for the future.
All the best on your journey to ultimate freedom and with love always,
Copyright © 2015-2018 Megan Westbrook – Flow Surge Healing